“The First Ladies” – When Women Gather There is Most Likely Food Involved!
Running throughout the novel, “The First Ladies” by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray (the dynamic duo that also wrote “The Personal Librarian,”) is the fact that every time Eleanor Roosevelt and Mary McLeod Bethune got together – they were eating! This got me thinking and concluded that this often happens in my life!
It seems that usually when women gather, food often plays a central role, creating an atmosphere that fosters connection, comfort, and community. The tradition of including food in women’s social gatherings is rooted in both cultural and social practices, as well as the inherent qualities of food as a means to connect people.
Historically, food has been a vehicle by which women express care and hospitality, both for their families and for one another. In many cultures, women have traditionally held the role of nurturing through food, preparing meals that bring people together. Often times, this nurturing role is reinforced through generations, leading many women to continue hosting and sharing food as an essential part of their social interactions. This isn’t solely about homemaking but is also about cultivating relationships through sharing, a powerful form of bonding that transcends generations and cultures – thus the current popularity of book clubs with mostly women members. That said – there are many book clubs with men included but from my personal experience, this is the case.
Additionally, food acts as an equalizer. It provides a central activity or focus, which can help reduce social anxiety and make gatherings feel relaxed and unpressured. Whether cooking together, bringing dishes to share, or dining out, food gives a natural rhythm to the interaction, breaking up conversational lulls and giving people something tangible to engage with. For many women, gathering over food creates a safe space where they can openly discuss personal stories, challenges, or joys. Eating together has been shown to increase feelings of closeness and empathy, likely due to the shared sensory experience and the implicit trust involved in sharing a meal.
Food also allows women to celebrate personal and collective accomplishments, like birthdays, promotions, or significant life changes. These moments are often marked by specific dishes or special recipes, creating lasting memories tied to flavors, aromas, and shared laughter. It’s no coincidence that holiday meals, potlucks, and brunches are mainstays of women’s gatherings—they each carry a unique blend of relaxation and celebration, inviting participants to feel both connected and appreciated.
Moreover, the foods women enjoy together can carry symbolic meanings. A potluck, for example, where each person contributes a dish, represents the collective nature of their friendship or support network. Sharing comfort foods like chocolate, cheese boards, or wine can add an indulgent, almost ritualistic quality, reinforcing a sense of self-care and mutual appreciation.
Ultimately, food at women’s gatherings isn’t just about eating; it’s about sharing, nurturing, and bonding. Food transforms a simple gathering into an experience filled with warmth, connection, and support, where women can find solace, laughter, and kinship!
